Philip Green is not happy, he’s lucky, they hung Dick Turpin


A letter a day to number 10. No 1,530

Monday 22 August 2016.

Dear Mrs May,

Philip Green is not a happy bunny. Holidaying on his £100 million boat, he was confronted onshore by Sky news reporter, David Bowden, who said to him, “Sir Philip, people want to know why you’re on holiday when they think you’re supposed to be sorting out the pension deficit.”

‘Sir’ Philip magnanimously replied, “Will you go away,” several times, and, after manhandling the camera being pointed at him, “Which bit are you not understanding? Just go away. That’s going in the fucking sea.”

Hell hath no fury like a rich man called to account for robbing the people who created his wealth, eh?

Please note that this darling man has no problem with his own investments creamed off the lives of his workers, but in caring for his workers pensions he’s managed to leave a £571 million black hole and he’s frightfully upset that anyone should have the temerity to call him to account. Please also note that the pension fund deficit, affecting tens of thousands of workers who have diligently paid into it, is only just over half the cost of his (third) boat which they unwittingly paid for by serving in his shops.

Green was recommended for a knighthood in 2006 by Sir John Collins, apparently on the basis of his ‘track record in retail, backing for a high street training academy and his integrity’. ‘Sir’ Philip Green was thus duly knighted as a captain of industry, please also, also, note that Dick Turpin, the infamous highwayman, was hung for daylight robbery.

It’s a filthy question, but when are the people going to get a share of the profits they create? Robert Tressell wrote The Ragged-Trousered Philanthropists, published after his death in 1914, set in the aptly named fictional town of ‘Mugsborough’. The basis of the book is of workers who vehemently support the interests of their bosses in their own exploitation. A mere century later and nothing has changed. It really is like turkeys voting for Christmas and the cooks screaming blue murder if they don’t. The story of the working classes is one of unsurpassed generosity towards those who rob them and despise them. At least cooks like the turkeys they prepare for roasting.

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